From a modest mushroom in Sadrith Mora

maletofabulous:

You will never win. You can spout filth all you want, erasing trans identities by saying “Well, really you’re a _____.”

You. Will. Not. Win.

The Trans* community is a small community, only a couple percent of the population, but we outnumber you. Our voices our louder. Our struggles are greater.

It’s funny. I’m a rape survivor. I turned a man down for sex in a bar, and got roofied for my trouble. Until I discovered Tumblr, and learned how terrible, hateful, and transmisoginistic parts of the feminist community could be, I even called myself a feminist. I will still fight for women’s rights, as I always have, but I refuse to associate myself with blind ignorance and hate.

I’m one of the lucky trans women. I rarely get clocked on the street, and it greatly increases my chance of survival. I understand that I’m privileged, and seen a different way because I’m white, read as the correct gender, and even considered pretty. I have no disabilities, or mental disorders aside from mild depression, and I’m reasonably healthy. Despite all of those things, I still face hatred and bigotry from people like the two of you, and many more.

I wish what some of what you said was true. I wish that this WAS all some elaborate plan to sneak into women’s only spaces. It’s not. I wish it was because I wish I wasn’t trans sometimes. I miss how easy it was to get a job as a male. I miss how easy it was to find a girl to date. I miss how easy it was to walk down the street at night. It was worth losing all of those things to be Ashley. It’s worth losing all of those things to be true to myself. Lastly, it’s worth losing all of those things to be happy.

As a final thought relating to dating, I’m polysexual. I’m attracted to a wide variety of bodies and genders, but I get discouraged when women don’t want to date me simply because I’m trans. However, I’d never get angry about it. A person’s preferences are their own. What I am for is challenging the fact that I’ve had women who fawn over me like I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread, hang on every word I speak, squeal with excitement over everything we have in common, and then get angry with me and storm away when I disclose the fact that I’m trans. Up until that point, what they saw was a beautiful, intelligent, and striking woman, but once I disclose my transness, I’m seen as an “icky man” That has to stop. They don’t know what my plans and ambitions are, I’m not in a bar or a club for a random hookup, I’m there to meet someone special. (I know that bars are a terrible place to find relationships) And even if I was in the bar looking to hookup, they have no idea how I have sex, or what I enjoy doing. I’m all for erasing the stereotype that just because you have a penis, all you care about is penetration. I could spend hours in the bedroom with my pants on pleasing someone else, and it would give me more satisfaction than a thousand orgasms, but few women are willing to learn that. That being said, as a rape survivor myself, I would never force or coerce someone into sex, but I see no problem with enlightening someone to challenge their own misconceptions about trans* sex.

In closing, you will never silence women like me. We will always stand up for ourselves in the face of your oppression and hate. We will keep fighting until finally your voices grow even quieter, and are left behind in the march of progress that is coming with this new generation of LGBT individuals.

We will not be silenced.

I truly feel sorry for people like you, who take some twisted pride or pleasure from insulting people concerning their identities. Hopefully one day, you’ll reflect on the things you’ve done in your life and own up to your mistakes.

Sincerely,

Ashley